Facing fear again and practicing conversations with periods and commas-don't flatten me out

Boone and I went for our first ride this season. It was a short mile ride but I wanted to test him, and me, out. I can't say I was scared [if you are new here, Boone and I had a bad accident last June landing me in the hospital a couple days with a concussion], but I wasn't necessarily in the zone either. I wasn't rigid, but we were rusty.

I focused on one thing, my hands, aiming to keep my cues as soft as possible. Boone is a desensitized horse from all his early cow pony days, which has its benefits. I'd rather have that than a high flight risk or spooker. It felt good to be on him and I think he enjoyed getting out too after being cooped up in a paddock all winter.

But what I noticed is...I felt sad afterwards, not because of the ride, or even the past accident. I pondered it all day and decided that I really miss my friend Joanne who died last year. I met her about six years ago, when I started riding at her barn and property of 300 acres back in Oregon. It was one of the saddest goodbyes for me, when we left. When I met her, I had had Boone for a couple years and we were working through some issues-i.e. he was playing with me and was winning. I was not a good leader and lacked confidence. Someone suggested I go ride at Jo's and it was a life changer for me and Boone. We'd ride all winter out in Oregon, and Jo even encouraged me to take dressage lessons with her, which I did, amazingly. That was very worthwhile. Boone and I went on to ride in a parade, get some blue ribbons at school shows, go to the ocean, and do some tough rides in the woods too. We overcame his fear of 'squishy' ground [he's sunk in quicksand once as a cow pony and was freaked out by the sound of squishy ground below his feet] and I overcame my reaction to his fear. I became a good leader. I was really proud of him, and me, and I have Jo to thank for a lot of that.

I realized too that not only did I miss Jo and our rides, I missed our conversations, and I missed the type of conversations we had. We had an easy flow conversation. There was no interrupting, we could engage in all sorts of issues and I never felt judged, or belittled, I never felt I wasn't being heard. When she talked I listened, and vice versa. I felt she respected my experiences in life, and I respected hers.

I never felt like she was talking at me, or over me. I never left the conversation feeling like I'd been run over. Do you know people like that-when you get done with a conversation no matter what the topic, you tend to feel 'flattened out?" Kind of like your big bossy sister came in and basically told you what do, or told you what you might consider doing even though you had not asked her opinion.

I took a business seminar once on communication. One thing that came up was when we listen to someone else talk, and then we answer with, "But don't you think blah blah blah," what we are really saying is, "Yea, you just spent time telling me your thoughts and even though it looked like I was listening I really have to tell you a better way to think about this." I was quilty of this, it was a good lesson. I don't think we are perfect at communicating, it is a life long pursuit, to become a better communicator and listener.

I guess there are people in life that just do not mesh with our personal conversational styles either. But I don't like to be 'talked at', or patronized. We have an ongoing lesson in our house, we try to remember to use 'periods and commas' when we speak [we often fail]. Anytime Martyn and I are going to be at a gathering, when we get out of the car, we remind ourselves to use periods and commas. We had a house guest some time ago that had an answer for everything, even things they had far less skill in than we did. At one point after a couple days of exhaustion trying to listen all the time, I leaned over and said something to Martyn, and the guest said, "Okay, don't listen, go ahead and interrupt me." I pointed out that it wasn't that we weren't listening, but he never stopped talking so there was no chance to interrupt.

I guess I realized after my ride that I'd been having some 'conversations' like that with people. No periods or commas, no acknowledgment of my past experience that might bring some clarity or interest to the topic at hand. I was consistently leaving those conversations with he same people feeling...slapped.

And it made me miss Jo.

But it's okay. Boone and I will ride on. I have a person I'm going to call to see if he and his wife might ride with me sometime, just to get me and my head back in confidence mode with Boone. He lives a ride away, and he said he'd ride the same trail Boone and i had our accident on. I want to do that.

5 Insurance Mistakes to Avoid

 

Insurance is something we all need, yet most of us spend very little time actually thinking about it. This can lead to making a number of insurance mistakes that can result in having less insurance coverage than you really need. Here we�ll look at some of the most common mistakes people make when buying insurance, and how you can avoid making those mistakes yourself.

1. Selecting an insurance company by price alone

Clearly no one wants to pay more for an insurance policy than necessary. Yet more important than price is choosing an insurance company that will be there when you need it and is able to pay their claims. There are

independent rating companies where you can check the financial strength of the insurance companies you�re considering. It�s also important to talk to others about their experiences, especially when it comes to handling claims. You want a company that is easy to work with and is fair about paying claims.

2. Insuring your home for its market value

The value of a home can fluctuate, and sometimes people will reduce the amount that their homeowners insurance covers when the value of their home drops. This is a mistake � your home should be insured for the amount it would cost to rebuild, which is seldom equal to its market value.

3. Not having flood insurance

People who don�t live near a river or lake often believe that they don�t need flood insurance. If you do live in such areas, flood insurance is something you shouldn�t be without, but those in lower-risk areas should consider it as well. Of all flood claims that are paid in the U.S., 20% are not in high-risk areas.

4. Getting the minimum required auto liability coverage

Most states have a minimum requirement for car insurance liability coverage. However, that minimum might not be enough to cover the cost of damages in an accident. Anything beyond the limit of your automobile insurance policy becomes your responsibility, and this can be disastrous if you can�t afford that expense. You may need to sell something of value, or could end up filing bankruptcy. If your car is older and not worth a lot, it can make more sense to drop your comprehensive and collision coverage than to skimp on liability.

5. Neglecting renters insurance

Your landlord�s insurance isn�t going to cover your belongings. Chances are the things you own are worth more than you think. It�s smart to take a detailed inventory of your possessions to reasonably estimate their value, and to consider getting insurance to cover that value. You will probably find that it�s much more affordable than you think. If you purchase insurance for your rental, you�ll also be covered for liability, so for example if your apartment floods and damages your neighbor�s property, you�re covered.

Armed with these insurance tips, you�re in a good position to review your current coverage. If you find that you�ve made any of these common mistakes, talk to an insurance agent you trust to provide you with great insurance advice and get you the coverage you need.

10 Reasons Why Your Car Insurance is So Expensive

 

�Why is my car insurance so expensive? Why does my car insurance keep going up?� Millions of people have asked themselves these questions whenever they make an installment payment or are shopping for

affordable car insurance. These are fair questions to ask, especially since more and more people are looking for low-cost car insurance coverage for all of their vehicles.

However, many people don�t know the gauging factors that could result in a higher auto insurance premium. Some actions of your past or circumstances that aren�t in your control can raise the price of your premium dramatically. Here are some reasons why your car insurance is more costly and what you can do to shave down the price of your premium.

1. Your Age

Young driver insurance is pricey. Due a combination of the lack of experience on the road and lack of overall maturity, many insurance companies feel that younger motorists can pose a higher chance of being involved in a collision. On top of that, teen drivers account for 11% of the total costs of motor vehicle injuries according to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention , so many insurance companies consider them a higher risk due to that statistic. Plus, drivers aged 16 to 19-years-old are three times as likely to be in a fatal crash than a driver that�s 20-years-old or older.

Unfortunately, until these statistics change, there�s nothing you can do to lower your insurance rate until the driver on the policy turns 25-years-old. That said, some insurance providers may provide a small discount if the young driver to attached to their parent�s policy, especially if the parent has been doing business with the insurance company for decades.

2. The Garaging Address of Your Vehicle

The location of your vehicle can affect your car insurance rates. Weather patterns, the local crime rate, and the number of claims made within the vicinity of your car�s garaging address are all factored into the price of your premium. If you move into a heavily populated city rather than a spread out suburban area, you�ll likely see your rates go up based on these factors. If a place has a more unpredictable climate, you could experience a rate increase due to the risks of a hurricane, snow storm, tornado, or other damaging weather phenomena. If you are moving to a new location, talk to an insurance agent to see how much your move will affect the cost of your overall premium so you can shop and budget accordingly.

3. Your Vehicle and Its Usage

The type of vehicle you drive and how often you use it can exponentially affect the cost of your auto insurance premium. The more expensive and desirable the automobile, the higher the risk of it getting stolen and the higher the cost for repairs. If you drive your car for a long commute to work, you have a higher chance of getting into a collision compared to someone driving the same car only for weekend drives in the country. No matter how clean your car history is, your rates will be higher the more miles you put onto a vehicle.

If you need a newer car but don�t want to your insurance premium to soar up, investigate in getting an efficient, modest vehicle that boasts a good safety rating. That will encourage insurance providers to offer you a more reasonable rate.

4. Your Marital Status

It may seem unfair, but the numbers don�t lie. Statistically speaking, married people get into less collisions and have less traffic violations than people who are single. With that mind, insurance companies see married folks as a safer bet than people who are unmarried.

5. Your Credit Score

If your credit is bad, insurers may only offer you high-risk auto insurance rates. Regardless of your driving record, poor credit automatically makes you seen as a higher risk for insurance companies. Once you�ve improved your credit score, talk to your insurance provider to see if they would be willing to cover you at a lower premium.

6. You�ve Cancelled a Policy in the Past

Not fulfilling a current insurance term and cancelling it prematurely not only hurts your relationship with your insurer, but other insurance providers, too. Regardless of the reason, when another company sees that you have a cancelled policy in your past, they will be hesitant to cover you and will likely require a higher cost to cover you. Your best bet is to discuss with an insurance agent the reasons why you previously cancelled a policy to see if they are willing to negotiate to a lower premium cost.

7. You Haven�t Bundled Your Policies

Most insurance companies are willing to offer lower car insurance premiums if you are willing to do other business with them. See if you can get a discount if you bundle your car insurance along with a homeowners, renters, or life insurance policy. This can not only lower your auto insurance rate, but the cost of other coverage could go down overall since you have bundled all of your policies together.

8. Low Deductibles

It�s basic math: the more you spend out of your pocket before your insurance kicks in, the lower your overall premium will be. Having a low deductible is helpful if you are in a collision since you don�t need to pay a lot before your insurance coverage activates. However, you�ll be paying much higher premiums overall since your deductible is so low. If you are a safe driver or don�t drive often, you could likely get away with adjusting to a higher deductible and take a risk on yourself which would put your premiums at a lower overall cost.

9. You�ve Made Claims That Resulted in Big Payouts

For some insurance companies, seeing a large payout for an accident or theft encourages them to raise your premium, regardless of whether or not it was your fault. Your best bet to avoid a much larger premium payment in the future is to only claim what was damaged or stolen without embellishment. Also, if you�re involved in an accident and it wasn�t your fault, make sure that your records has it listed as �no-fault� to avoid unnecessary premium increases.

10. You Have a Poor Driving Record

Car insurance for people with accidents, violations, or other bad marks on their driving record can make insurance companies view them as high risk drivers. Folks with a extremely poor record will have to get an

SR-22 to legally drive. There are high-risk auto insurance companies like Freeway Insurance that specialize in helping drivers obtain low

SR-22 insurance costs, but many companies charge a higher premium based off your past if you were previously in an accident and were at fault, commit too many traffic violations, or were given a DUI. If you improve your driving record over time, you could convince insurance providers that you will not repeat your past mistakes, leading to lower cost premiums in the future. All it takes is time

How to File a Car Insurance Claim

Getting into a car crash can be stressful and cause panic, even if you are protected with car insurance. Many folks have coverage, but don�t know what to do after an accident and don�t know how to file a car insurance claim. Keep calm and read on.

The car insurance claim process may seem daunting, but it is easier than it appears. Here is some information on what to do after a collision and how to file a claim with little hassle.

Things You Should Know Before the Worst Happens

No one plans to get into an accident, but it�s important to know what your policy covers in case you have file a car accident injury claim or any other insurance claim. Read through your policy so you always know where you stand. Know how much liability coverage you have and if you have collision and comprehensive coverage. If you notice any coverage you want that isn�t included in your plan, contact your insurance company to get it added to your policy. Reading over your policy can also inform you on how to best file an auto insurance claim with your insurer if you cannot proceed with traditional methods.

After the Accident

There is a whole guide on what to do after getting into an auto accident and there are some steps that take priority before filing accident claims. In short, pull over and park away from traffic if possible, check yourself and others involved in the accident for injuries, call the police to report the accident, and exchange insurance information with the people involved with the collision. Also, take pictures of the accident scene if you are able, write down license plate numbers of all vehicles involved in the collision, and write down the names and contact information of any witnesses.

Contact Your Insurance Company

Regardless of whoever caused the accident, you should call your insurance company as soon as possible to report the accident and file a claim. There should be a national or local phone number on your insurance card that you can call. When you speak with your insurance representative, ask if there are any particular forms you need to fill out or other information they need in order to swiftly process auto accident claims. Knowing what information you�ll need to obtain, usually items such as repair bills and the police report, will save you from making follow-up phone calls later on.

Take Your Car to a Repair Shop

While most state laws prohibit insurance companies from favoring specific auto body repair shops, many will provide you a list of local shops that are backed by repair and labor guarantees. Ultimately, you will be the one to choose which repair shop will fix your car. Make sure you know what your settlement amounts are before signing off on an estimate for repairs. You don�t want to end up paying beyond your policy�s limit if you can help it. Keep and make copies of all paperwork.

Cooperate With Your Insurer

Depending on the severity of the accident, you may be required to give your insurer additional information. They may call the repair shop to discuss the estimate for repairs or send an insurance adjuster to inspect the car. You may need to send copies of any legal papers or settlement offers you receive in relation to the accident. This can help your insurer defend you if you are sued as a result of the accident. It may seem like a hassle, but it is all in the interest of providing you the protection you purchased.

Keep Records of All Related Expenses

If you get a car estimate, hospital bill, a bill for a rental car, or any other expense related to your car accident, you need to be able to show proof of it to your insurance company. Keep any and all receipts or paperwork that indicates how much you paid or need to pay. You should also write down and report anything that could be considered lost wages. This can help you get reimbursed properly for these expenses.

Keep and Store Copies of Paperwork

This has been mentioned previously multiple times, but it bears repeating. It is important to keep any and all paperwork related to your accident in order for your insurance provider to refer to it when filing your car insurance claim. Keep the originals and make copies of any forms, bills, or other items related to your accident. You should also consider keeping your records organized in a file and kept in a safe place in your home.

If You�re Dissatisfied, Talk to Your Insurance Agent

If your claim has been processed and you aren�t satisfied with your payout, don�t be afraid to talk things over with your insurance provider. You can both review what was outlined in your policy agreement and see if there was any information that was overlooked or forgot to provide. It could also be an opportunity to update your insurance policy to include certain coverages that weren�t available to you in this instance.

5 Insurance Mistakes to Avoid

 

Insurance is something we all need, yet most of us spend very little time actually thinking about it. This can lead to making a number of insurance mistakes that can result in having less insurance coverage than you really need. Here we�ll look at some of the most common mistakes people make when buying insurance, and how you can avoid making those mistakes yourself.

1. Selecting an insurance company by price alone

Clearly no one wants to pay more for an insurance policy than necessary. Yet more important than price is choosing an insurance company that will be there when you need it and is able to pay their claims. There are

independent rating companies where you can check the financial strength of the insurance companies you�re considering. It�s also important to talk to others about their experiences, especially when it comes to handling claims. You want a company that is easy to work with and is fair about paying claims.

2. Insuring your home for its market value

The value of a home can fluctuate, and sometimes people will reduce the amount that their homeowners insurance covers when the value of their home drops. This is a mistake � your home should be insured for the amount it would cost to rebuild, which is seldom equal to its market value.

3. Not having flood insurance

People who don�t live near a river or lake often believe that they don�t need flood insurance. If you do live in such areas, flood insurance is something you shouldn�t be without, but those in lower-risk areas should consider it as well. Of all flood claims that are paid in the U.S., 20% are not in high-risk areas.

4. Getting the minimum required auto liability coverage

Most states have a minimum requirement for car insurance liability coverage. However, that minimum might not be enough to cover the cost of damages in an accident. Anything beyond the limit of your automobile insurance policy becomes your responsibility, and this can be disastrous if you can�t afford that expense. You may need to sell something of value, or could end up filing bankruptcy. If your car is older and not worth a lot, it can make more sense to drop your comprehensive and collision coverage than to skimp on liability.

5. Neglecting renters insurance

Your landlord�s insurance isn�t going to cover your belongings. Chances are the things you own are worth more than you think. It�s smart to take a detailed inventory of your possessions to reasonably estimate their value, and to consider getting insurance to cover that value. You will probably find that it�s much more affordable than you think. If you purchase insurance for your rental, you�ll also be covered for liability, so for example if your apartment floods and damages your neighbor�s property, you�re covered.

Armed with these insurance tips, you�re in a good position to review your current coverage. If you find that you�ve made any of these common mistakes, talk to an insurance agent you trust to provide you with great insurance advice and get you the coverage you need.

Ways to prevent drunk driving

Driving drunk is a serious problem. Any time you drive intoxicated, you risk your freedom. Being convicted of DUI/DWI can result in jail time, losing your license, fines, and higher insurance rates. More important, though, are the safety risks. We all know how dangerous drinking and driving can be, yet drunk driving accidents remain common � of the nearly 40,000 traffic deaths in 2016, over 10,000 were in crashes involving a driver with a blood alcohol level (BAC) above the legal limit of 0.08%. On average, there are 28 deaths every day from drunk driving crashes. In 2010, 17 million people admitted they had driven drunk � that�s more than the population of most states. Statistics like these make it clear that all of us need to do our parts when it comes to drinking and driving prevention. So what can we do to ensure that we and our loved ones stay safe during celebrations?

Plan Ahead

When you�re out enjoying a few drinks with friends, it�s easy to tell yourself that you feel ok to drive. Unfortunately, even after just one or two, you are not in the best position to judge. Alcohol impairs normal judgement, so trusting yourself to make smart choices when you�ve been drinking is a recipe for problems. Even though you feel ok, those couple drinks are enough to affect your driving. Impaired driving is always dangerous, even if you don�t think you�re drunk.

The best way to prevent this type of problem is to plan how you�ll get home before you go out. Instead of relying on your own questionable judgement, keep yourself safe by having a plan. That could mean walking home, taking a cab, or getting a ride with a non-drinking friend. If you�ve already decided how you�ll get home, you won�t be as tempted to drive later.

Have a Designated Driver

One of the most common choices to avoid the temptation to drink and drive is to have a sober driver. It�s important to remember, this doesn�t mean a driver who drinks less than the passengers; it means someone who will not drink at all. If you have friends who don�t drink, they are often your best choice. Another option is to take turns being the designated driver among your group of friends. Regardless, if your planned driver decides to drink, find a new driver.

Use a Ride Sharing Service or a Taxi

If you don�t have a designated driver, this is your next best option. Services like Uber and Lyft have made it easy to get a ride whenever you need one. If you live in a city with good taxi service, it should be easy to flag down a cab. There is very little excuse for driving intoxicated when these options are available.

Stay Where You Are

If you�re drinking at someone�s home, you might ask the host if you can sleep for a while before you head home. If you�re out at a bar, switch to non-alcoholic drinks and stick around until you sober up. Keep in mind, though, that you�ll need about an hour for each alcoholic drink you�ve had. If you don�t have time to wait it out, look for another option.

When You Are the Host

If you�re throwing a party, you should consider drunk driving prevention one of your responsibilities. This is not just the considerate and responsible thing to do; it can prevent legal trouble as well. If one of your guests has an accident while driving home from your house, you could be held liable. So keep an eye on your guests, pay attention to who�s drinking, and be aware when someone seems like they may have had too much. Don�t be afraid to take someone�s keys � they�ll probably resist and might get a bit angry, but they�ll probably appreciate it the next day.

Be sure to serve food as well, since it will help to slow the absorption of alcohol. Have plenty of non-alcoholic beverages available, too. If you have games or other non-drinking activities, this can also help to slow people�s drinking.

Keeping the roads safe is everyone�s responsibility. Keeping intoxicated drivers off the road saves lives, and each of us can play a part. Plan to be safe and to keep your loved ones safe, through the holiday season and all year long.

Humours about insurance fallacies

THE MEANING OF INSURANCE, BY AMBROSE BIERCE
INSURANCE, n. �An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.

INSURANCE AGENT: My dear sir, that is a fine house � pray let me insure it.

HOUSE OWNER: With pleasure. Please make the annual premium so low that by the time when, according to the tables of your actuary, it will probably be destroyed by fire I will have paid you considerably less than the face of the policy.

INSURANCE AGENT: O dear, no � we could not afford to do that. We must fix the premium so that you will have paid more.

HOUSE OWNER: How, then, can I afford that?

INSURANCE AGENT: Why, your house may burn down at any time. There was Smith�s house, for example, which..

HOUSE OWNER: Spare me � there were Brown�s house, on the contrary, and Jones�s house, and Robinson�s house, which..

INSURANCE AGENT: Spare  me!

HOUSE OWNER: Let us understand each other. You want me to pay you money on the supposition that something will occur previously to the time set by yourself for its occurrence. In other words, you expect me to bet that my house will not last so long as you say that it will probably last.

INSURANCE AGENT: But if your house burns without insurance it will be a total loss.

HOUSE OWNER: Beg your pardon � by your own actuary�s tables I shall probably have saved, when it burns, all the premiums I would otherwise have paid to you � amounting to more than the face of the policy they would have bought. But suppose it to burn, uninsured, before the time upon which your figures are based. If I could not afford that, how could you if it were insured?

INSURANCE AGENT: O, we should make ourselves whole from our luckier ventures with other clients. Virtually, they pay your loss.

HOUSE OWNER: And virtually, then, don�t I help to pay their losses? Are not their houses as likely as mine to burn before they have paid you as much as you must pay them? The case stands this way: you expect to take more money from your clients than you pay to them, do you not?

INSURANCE AGENT: Certainly; if we did not..

HOUSE OWNER: I would not trust you with my money. Very well, then. If it is certain, with reference to the whole body of your clients, that they lose money on you it is probable, with reference to any one of them, that he will. It is these individual probabilities that make the aggregate certainty.

INSURANCE AGENT: I will not deny it � but look at the figures in this pamphlet.

HOUSE OWNER: Heaven forbid!

INSURANCE AGENT: You spoke of saving the premiums which you would otherwise pay to me. Will you not be more likely to squander them? We offer you an incentive to thrift.

HOUSE OWNER: The willingness of A to take care of B�s money is not peculiar to insurance, but as a charitable institution you command esteem. Deign to accept its expression from a Deserving Object.